What I Really Miss

(My wife died in April 2007. This is what we did. )
I really miss just being around someone. You don't have to be near them, you don't have to be talking to them: like both of you reading a book. Or one is watching TV, the other is writing a letter. Or one is playing with the dog and one is washing dishes. Just being there with someone. I really miss that.

I really miss lying in bed, just holding each other. Kissing at times, whispering at times, telling how you feel about them at times. Touching at times, laughing at times, dozing off at times, and all the while cuddling. I really miss that.

I really miss doing little things for someone. Simple things. A back rub. Writing a little love note on a scrap of paper then hiding it where she will find it.
Out of the blue a Hug, then a look into her eyes, tell her how much you love her, then a kiss.
Getting her coffee or hot Chocolate in the morning, while she's still in bed. Writing goofy little stories for her that will make her smile. Making her laugh. I really miss that.

I really miss going to the grocery store together, goofing around, cracking corny jokes, buying something we've never tried before, just for the heck of it.
I really miss going for walks together, holding hands, talking, laughing.

I really miss just talking: listening as she tells you about her day, you about yours. Or more serious things that bother her, things she might be concerned or worried about.
Talking about anything. Everything. I really miss that.

I really miss pleasuring her in lovemaking: learning and knowing when and where to touch and not to touch. When to kiss and not too kiss. When to talk and when not to talk. When to be slow, gentle, caressing. When to let feelings take over. That and all those other little things you continue to learn to do for her that gives her pleasure, which will increase my pleasure. I really miss that.

I really miss working in the yard together. Decorating the Christmas tree together. Cooking the Thanksgiving meal together. Handing out candy on Halloween together. Watching the first snowfall of the winter together. Going out with friends together. Seeing Family together. Those silly private words we call each other. I really miss these and a whole lot more.

I've done them all before. I want to do them all again.